Seatbelts

I'll give our esteemed church father a break for awhile and comment on my own thoughts in relation to Rich Mullins.

I was driving over to Amy's place about a week ago, and as I rolled down the drive of my apartment, I started thinking, "Should I put on my seatbelt? It's only a couple miles..." I did buckle up, but I thought it strange that I should wonder about this. In the past, buckling my seat belt had been a natural thing. No thought involved. I just did what I should. However, as I've grown older, I've started thinking about most of the things I do before I do them, and that leaves me wondering whether the things I am doing are necessary. Even the good things.

Philosophy, sometimes I resent you. Would that I could return to the naturality of goodness! Instead, in an effort to give reason its fair due, I stop and think before even doing what I should. I wonder if that's what caused Eve to eat the forbidden fruit. This growing away from thoughtless good may lead me to a mature evil.

On the blog I had while in Rwanda, I quoted Rich Mullins's song "Growing Young," and I think that it applies here as well:

I've gone so far from my home

I've seen the world and I have known

So many secrets I wish now I did not know

'Cause they have crept into my heart

They have left it cold and dark

And bleeding,

Bleeding and falling apart

And everybody used to tell me big boys don't cry

Well I've been around enough to know that that was the lie

That held back the tears in the eyes of a thousand prodigal sons

Well we are children no more, we have sinned and grown old

And our Father still waits and He watches down the road

To see the crying boys come running back to His arms

And be growing young

Growing young

I don't think it's evil to think before I act. I just wish, rather, that I loved God so much my actions would flow from that. Maybe I should meditate more on his word than on my own attempts at understanding truth.