Wading, Wading

I'm trying to understand what's important, what I need to focus on.  I spend so much of my time looking at things that will affect me for a little while and so little looking at the Cross.

I wonder, often enough, what I'm supposed to be looking toward.  The plot of the Bible seems to be the building of the Kingdom, so I guess that's what Earth's for.  I really hope that my life can be about that too.  If I try to find a plot in my life, it looks more like Kerouac in On The Road, just a guy sort of wandering.  I don't think I'll ever be that immoral, but I do think that if I don't stay focused, I could be like Hemingway in The Snows of Kilimanjaro.  Empty.

But how am I a part of this holy enterprise?  Can I contribute?  I wonder if my greatest contribution will be just getting out of the way.

When we lived in Brush Creek, Dad had this long wall he was building out of rocks.  There were a bunch of them in the area from the old, old days, and he loved them, and so he was building one behind our house.  It helped stop the erosion, too.  Anyway, I remember this one time Cameron and I were out that trying to help, and there was this big rock in the ground the was pointed all the wrong way, and we couldn't lay any stones on top of it.  This was a huge rock, too.  In the end, all we could do was work forever to get it out of the groud so the wall could be built right.  I wonder if some people are like that rock, and their greatest success is being moved.  And it's not their success at all, but the Builder's.

Not exactly an epic role, I know.  But then again, maybe my story shouldn't be epic.  My story should just be a part of His.